Fun on Cristian Livadaru's Blog

Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn - by Dave Barry

Fri, 25 May 2007 00:00:00 +0000

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.”
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Buissnes Talk ... Weihnachten fuer geschaeftsleute

Thu, 21 Dec 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Message from the CEO (Christmas Event Organizer):

Dr. J. Christus v. Bethlehem:

Also Kinder, ich bin jetzt in Urlaub. Aller Vorausicht nach bin ich bis Weihnachten wieder da, aber die Vorbereitungen darauf sollten natürlich jetzt schon loslaufen:

Status: Wie Weihnachten 2005 im Internet gezeigt hat, heißt Weihnachten nicht mehr Weihnachten, sondern X-mas, also muss der Weihnachtsmann entsprechend ab jetzt X-man heißen!

Da X-mas 2006 quasi schon vor der Tür steht, ist es spätestens seit Oktober höchste Zeit, mit der Weihnachtsvorbereitung zu beginnen – Verzeihung – seit Oktober ist es höchste Zeit, mit dem Weihnachts- roll-out zu starten und die Christmas-Mailing-Action just in time vorzubereiten.

Addicted to The Simpsons?

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Well what do you say to this? Today after watching over 10 episodes of Simpsons (in which I forgot to turn on my mobile, didn’t check my server and it really did crash … well what would homer say? Doh), I just received a mail (no clue to which list I subscribed, but thanks god I did it ) about the Movie, well I do know about the movie since quite a while and have seen the teaser, but now the Trailer has been released! Go and see it on http://www.thesimpsons.com/ Well I sure du hope they will sell doughnuts instead of Popcorn at the movie. So and instead of reading my apache security book to prevent further crashes on the server … I am going to watch more simpsons episodes

fixing problems

Fri, 10 Nov 2006 00:00:00 +0000

An elderly lady phoned Verizon to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called – and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always barked right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber’s house.

How to wake up by 6:30 every morning ... for the serious procrastinator

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Just read this in Karanet. I think I will have to try this next Monday when I have to wake up REAL early to catch a train to Budapest at 6 in the morning

The plan

Make sure your PC is in your bedroom with the monitor pointed at such an angle that you can see the screen perfectly. Go to the bios of your pc. Set your PC to startup automatically by 6:30a.m. Set your alarm clock to startup by 6:20a.m. Set your alarm clock to Radio, preferably, talk radio, not music radio. Put it at the far end of your room. Download a whole bunch of stand-up comedy routines that you have not watched. Make a link to one of them in your autostart menu. Set VLC so that it startsup in fullscreen mode. Strategically place bread and the juice beside your bed. By 9pm on the first day, swallow one of the sleeping tablets. As an optional step, put on some Jenna and squeeze out some tadpoles.

Borat, go and see it :)

Mon, 06 Nov 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Well I have to say at some scenes I kind of expected more from Borat, nevertheless it was a great movie and worth being seen. As I have seen the trailer I was already sure that Borat his home village was NOT from Kazakhstan, it was filmed in Romania. Not only that the people, the village and everything else looks really Romanian, I have also found an interview which confirms this.

how stupid can you get in just one life?

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 00:00:00 +0000

What on earth did we do to deserve such punishment? This is the late punishment for o-zone it’s music. Thank you o-zone for this. We all waited for it! Really!

I think I have to create a new blog category “extreme stupidity” !

Think it cant get worse? Oh yes it can, check these 2 idiots

Extreme Idiot 1 Extreme Idiot 2

Wieviele DSL-Router braucht ein Mensch?

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Wieviele DSL-Router braucht ein Mensch? Deutsche Telekom liefert insgesamt 552 DSL-Router an Privathaushalt Manchmal muss es einfach etwas mehr sein, hat sich die Deutsche Telekom womöglich gedacht. Eine Privatperson hatte einen DSL-Anschluss bei dem rosa Riesen bestellt und erhielt statt eines DSL-Routers gleich 552 Exemplare. Kamen die ersten 56 DSL-Router noch per Post, wurden die restlichen 496 Geräte mit einem Schlag per Lkw geliefert. Die in Nordrhein-Westfalen beheimatete Telekom-Kundin bestellte kürzlich einen DSL-Anschluss als Ergänzung zu dem bestehenden ISDN-Anschluss. Zunächst erhielt sie aber den Hinweis, dass möglicherweise nicht genügend DSL-Router zur Verfügung stünden, berichtet der Kölner Stadtanzeiger. Wie sich bald zeigte, waren diese Sorgen mehr als unbegründet. Zunächst erhielt die Telekom-Kundin ein Paket mit DSL-Router samt Splitter. Die zweite Postlieferung mit fünf weiteren Routern hat sie umgehend an die Deutsche Telekom zurückgeschickt. Einige Tage später folgten dann fünf Paketsendungen mit insgesamt 50 DSL-Routern, die gleichfalls unverzüglich an den rosa Riesen zurückgingen. Allerdings war es da wohl schon zu spät, die Lkw-Lieferung mit nochmals 496 DSL-Routern aufzuhalten, die einige Tage später mit fünf Paletten vor dem Haus der Privatkundin stand. Gegenüber der Zeitung begründete die Deutsche Telekom den Fehler damit, dass ein Telekom-Mitarbeiter die Produktbezeichnung für den Router (Speedport 501) in das Feld mit der Liefermenge eingetragen habe. Allerdings bleibt damit schleierhaft, wie es zu der Fehllieferung der übrigen 51 Router gekommen ist. Quelle:

Bush and Condoleza

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 00:00:00 +0000

Old but still good

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That’s what I want to know.
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
George: That’s who’s name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That’s correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Thanks google!

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 00:00:00 +0000

I just looked at my webalizer stats and noticed, that someone got on my page due to the search term “iban t-com berlin”. So I looked up on google, and guess what, my blog is the first thing displayed when someone searches for the t-com iban in berlin. Great! now everybody can read how stupid t-com is

Bad memory, part II

Sun, 30 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000

This one is kind of funny … Yesterday I decided to drive a bit with the golf so the dust can be washed of by the rain. so I took the license plates of the Passat and put them on my golf on of I went (in Austria you can have 3 cars with the same license plate). Today I decided to drive with the Passat again, nothing unusual. I almost reached my destination, as a police car turned around the corner and the driver of the police car looked at my car and had a strange look on his face. I could feel like they want to stop me and I was proven right, I saw in the rear mirror how they turned and followed me and pulled me over. Once the policeman approached my car I instantly knew why they stopped me. Stupid me forgot to put the license plates back on the Passat, I almost crossed Vienna without license plates on the car The policeman started t laugh after he checked the papers, at least I didn’t get a ticket for this. On my way back home to pick up my license plates I started to find this amusing

Microsoft is developing the iPod Killer

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 00:00:00 +0000

this is by far the best Joke I have read this morning ! Come on Microsoft, you can only be kidding ! Oh, will the so called “Zune” player have a nice blue screen when it crashes?

Things you have to believe to be a real American

Tue, 30 May 2006 00:00:00 +0000

This would be funny, if it wasn’t real

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him; a good guy when Cheney did business with him; and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

We are everywhere !

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 00:00:00 +0000

something funny hapened today morning. I went to my car an headed of to work and noticed a smal flyer under the wiper, nothing unusual. As I arived work I took the flyer and what do you think was on it ? “Carti de Acasa, “ ( books from home, in Romanian ) once again I can only say that we romanians are everywhere!

Romanian Transport

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 00:00:00 +0000

While searching for some images on the net I came acros two pictures, these are no fake, this is real life in Romania http://randomland.atspace.com/dacia.html Continue reading “Romanian Transport”