Looking around I see a lot of friends getting married, children are on the way, everything looks fine. But there are a lot of people that don’t want kids. What could be the reason ?
There is this one thing, that when you have kids, some might think their life is over, no “freedom” anymore …
Then there are concerns about money, kids are expensive, well not the kids, but the products for kids. Clothes for kids are more expensive then for adults.
But there is one last thing that some of us might be afraid of. What if the are problems? What if the child will be handicapped? Will you think of abortion? I think by now, if anyone reads this, there will be a lot of people thinking, oh no, abortion is bad. I agree with you. But do you know what it means to have a disabled child? That will always depend on someone to help them, what will be when you are no longer there? Do you know what it means to go from one doctor to a other and nobody really can help? Do you know what it means to go with your child from one operation to the next one, from one treatment to the next one?
And what if you child one day says, “Next week I will have a operation and after this I will be able to walk like all other kids” can you look in their little eyes and tell them that this will never happen? Or look in their disappointed eyes after the operation when they will notice that nothing got better? Now, still anybody that thinks life is fair? What problems do we fight with? Oh, my iPod is to small, oh, my car is not shiny enough. All my cousin wanted was to walk … something that most of us don’t even appreciate.
I have been through this, I have seen how hard my aunt and uncle tried everything for my little cousin, how every stupid idiot came up with some miracle and pulled the money out of their wallet. I don’t think I managed to capture my feelings in this blog about this subject. It has passed a long time since my little cousin died, but I will never forget that one day she said those words “I will walk like every other kid” that is all she wanted.

Rest in peace.

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don’t really have a topic to blog about, or to many things but not in the mood for collecting my thoughts and put them in a blog.
Just sitting in front of my monitor, with a cold beer, and in a (2b || !2b) mood let’s see how many will figure out what on earth I mean by this
anyway … sitting here, listening to some cuban music over pandora.com and trying to switch of. This is one of the days where a lot of things go trough my head like memories from the past. Oh yeah … the so called “good old times” I bet everyone has heard of them. I’m not complaining about the actual situation, and I don’t think I would change something, but still, there is this “good old time” thing coming up from time to time … maybe this comes from my inner voice, trying to remind me of some mistakes I did in the past, or rather, just a single one that I regret! All mistakes have it’s learning effect somehow, but there is just this one thing that will no leave me alone, this one think I think I will never forget and never forgive (no, it has got nothing to do with love or things like this).
A different plausible explication why we have this “good old times” feeling as we get older, is because we get “wiser” as we get older. As we where “younger” we where more “stupid” and “naive” and as we get older we see how sick everything around as is. How money can change people and that the world we think we live in, is just something that exists in books and movies. If you look around, corruption, crime, lies, brothers fighting each other, hate, war … all because of money. Most of the people don’t give a fuck about what will happen in the future or how the decision, a politician takes, will effect the feature.
Here I would like to post a little excerpt of “The Poverty of philosophy” by Immortal Technique:

Latino America is a huge colony of countries whose presidents are cowards in the face of economic imperialism. You see, third world countries are rich places, abundant in resources, and many of these countries have the capacity to feed their starving people and the children we always see digging for food in trash on commercials. But plutocracies, in other words a government run by the rich such as this one and traditionally oppressive European states, force the third world into buying overpriced, unnecessary goods while exporting huge portions of their natural resources.

But this is not only valid for Latin America, it’s valid for the whole world. Don’t want to spend any further words about this topic, I think it’s something one could write days about it and still be pissed and it wouldn’t change a thing
I think I will just end this blog here, without real content, or real ending, sit back, finish my beer, listen to immortal technique and just let my thoughts pass by without transforming them to a blog.

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Nu, nu mam apucat de cântat! Dar multe piese de a lu Bitză spun ce imi trece de mult timp prin cap. Să începem cu prima melodie: “Tovarășilor” cu cateva rânduri
“Nu poți să mai faci nimic, fără să te ardă vreo un amic, nu poți să mai ai incredere in cineva fară să te intrebi cât o să pierzi din asta” … “Primu prieten, ultimu dușman” … “invidie ură de multe ori prostie, aceaste sunt coordonatele din tro tovarașie”
ok să sărim la următoarea melodie: “Străin in țara mea”

“Cănd doi români se ceartă, ghici cine câstigă?
Nu te uita la mine, nu sunt cel care instigă,
Penru că al treilea in cazul minunatei tări,
Este maneaua, curvele și distruși din alte zări”

Sărim acuma la altă melodie care reprezintă nu numai gândurile mele ci și reprezintă foarte bine situația din România și nu numai.

Războaie genocid crime le-auzi pe toate
Sângele se face apa se luptă frate cu frate

Toti cred ca-u găsit secretele supreme
Se calcă pe cadavre, sa-runca cu blesteme

Să vă intorc obrazul sunteți atenți la fețe
Am box in mâna stângă sunt gata să vă fac zdrente
Pentru ca ați ajuns târfe pe fața
Am trei degete pe care-mi număr prietenii in viață

și acuma terminăm călătoria scurtă cu “Copii imbătrâniți inainte de timp” ce să zic, aici chiar nu merită să extrag rânduri această melodie trebuie ascultată intreagă și cred că mai sunt destuii care o să iși aduca foarte bine aminte despre ce este vorba.

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We all know that, but I think nobody ever thinks about what will be when the end comes.
The end of a life somebody close to you, or even your own life.
I have been trough this more times then I wished (not that I wished to make any of these experiences ever).
But then this things make you think … how fast time has passed, how suddenly bad things can happen. Yesterday you talked with a person and the next day it’s a matter of life and death and all you can do is just sit around and wait, not knowing what you will hear when the pone rings or the doctor comes to you.
Some say “Time heal all wounds” but as someone who has made this experience I can say this is not true. You will never forget! There will always be some photos, some words, some memories that will remind you and will remind you of the pain.
Especially if it’s someone young, very young. I mean, I can say hey, my grandfather was 85! He has had bad times in life and good times in life, but he has lived his life.
But what can I say about my little cousin that was 9? … the list can be continued, but I won’t.
Before I get any stupid questions, no noting happened in my family, but in the family of someone close to me. I won’t go in to further details. This just brought up some of my personal memories, some of my wounds that haven’t been healed by time, even after almost 20 years.
And no I do not want to talk about it, so no questions please.

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Music has a special power, at least for me it has. There are some songs, that put you in a state of meditation, where you start thinking of all kind of things. There is also this special power of older songs, songs you have associated with some period of time, not necessary that the song was actually from that period but somehow it brings up memories from that period of time.
No mater how stupid the song is, you will like it if it reminds you of something. Let's take for instance Culture Beat, now these are songs that are kind of stupid, but hey, it reminds me of when I was a kid, school time, vacations in Romania at the country … and things like that.
Times where things seemed to be better, I don't really think that things where better but not necessarily worse, but one always kind of remembers the good things. But there still is a kind of feeling "if I could turn back time" not necessarily changing something, just to live a moment, you have in memory, once again.
Things change as time passes and so do people, but music stays the same and so do the memories you have and music is that little thing that manages to bring that up again.
Music can change so much, just imagine how a horror movie would be without the right music? Imagine some children song to a horror scene … would you be afraid ? But put some frightening music to a trick film, what would you feel then?
ok enough about this, iTunes just switched the music to drum 'n bass and this isn't necessarily the right music for memories, although I must say that there is some part of my life associated with dnb, hardcore, gaba, electro and some other varieties of techno.

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