Cristian Livadaru's blog

... think again ...

How to Wake Up by 6:30 Every Morning – for the Serious Procrastinator

Just read this in Karanet :) I think I will have to try this next Monday when I have to wake up REAL early to catch a train to Budapest at 6 in the morning :(  

The plan

Make sure your PC is in your bedroom with the monitor pointed at such an angle that you can see the screen perfectly. Go to the bios of your pc. Set your PC to startup automatically by 6:30a.m. Set your alarm clock to startup by 6:20a.m. Set your alarm clock to Radio, preferably, talk radio, not music radio. Put it at the far end of your room. Download a whole bunch of stand-up comedy routines that you have not watched.
Make a link to one of them in your autostart menu. Set VLC so that it startsup in fullscreen mode. Strategically place bread and the juice beside your bed. By 9pm on the first day, swallow one of the sleeping tablets. As an optional step, put on some Jenna and squeeze out some tadpoles.

The Effect

Now what happens in the morning? By 6:20, your alarm clock goes on. The guy will start talking. This will probably not wake you, but it will disturb you enough to take you out of deep sleep into a restless slumber. By 6:30, your PC will go on. This sound alone will wake you up, because of the strong body association between PC and mental work. So you are now basically is a state of light slumber, and left alone, you would fall back into sleep. But as soon as your PC goes one, the standup comedy goes on. Well, what happens here. Even though you are half asleep, your brain will listen to some of the jokes, and as soon as one funny joke comes through, your brain will suddenly kickstart, and you will open your eyes to look at the screen. As you watch, you will discover you are thirsty, so you will drink from the water.You will discover your snack and start eating. So you are there eating and watching stand up comedy and drinking juice. In 10 minutes, you will admit to yourself – aww shit, I’m fully awake. It’s friggin great, and it’s such a gentle awakening. It’s not like those terrible BEEEP, BEEEEP, BEEEP of the alarm clocks.

Alternative

My original strategy was this – shock myself into awakening by tricking my brain into believing that something horrible was happening. So I put the sounds of people screaming and dying on the PC. Well, trust me, that’s something you don’t want to do. Those sounds got absorbed into my dream and for some reason, it was my family screaming and dying. Which is a sucky way to wake up on a monday.